Today over lunch, S, H and I were catching up on old times. It seemed pretty long since they last saw me or so they say. So they were commenting that I look more fairer than before and more handsome. Now when people praise you like that, you naturally will get big headed.I came crashing back to earth barely twenty seconds later.

Because a group of guys plonked themselves at a table next to us and S & H were going ga-ga over them

And they kept telling me.

A is so cute.

B is so cute.

C is so cute.

.
.
.

Z is so cute.

–______–

It’s not that I am jealous of the guys who stole the limelight away from me. I am aware I am no Brad Pitt and that there are always guys who are more good looking than me.

But the focus is totally on cute-ness. Now, don’t mind me, but somehow I just find it wrong to call a guy cute. It’s like calling a teddy bear…erm…suave? Or calling a stuffed bunny…sexy? It’s just not right. If a guy is cute, I’d think he’s better off in shorts and diapers, running around a childcare centre. But then, I like broadly generic terms like “good-looking” and “attractive” which will reveal absolute nuts about how I rate a guy’s looks and some people may find that a tad annoying. Like, good-looking?! Can’t someone like you explore the depths of her vocabulary and come up with a more descriptive term?

OK, he’s nice looking, how’s that? Hee hee.

Anyway, so why do girls talk about guys so much?

My conclusion:

1) Because if you can’t get it, might as well talk about it.

And that’s the end of my theory. In one entire day of strenous brain exercise, that’s the marvellous theory I came up with - that girls like to gossip about guys because they’re not getting it. Really. Girls with boyfriends or husbands or something don’t usually loud-mouth about men so much. It’s not some kind of dead loyalty thing, it’s more like, when you’re in a relationship with someone for a long time, you kind of blank out the other men around you. But when you don’t have it, or you’re not happy with what you have…ahhhh.

Then the lustful side comes out.

“He’s so cute! I can’t stand it, he’s so cute!” (He’s so hot, when can I get him in private?)

Or the bitter side.

“He thinks he’s so cute, always flirting with girls.” (I think he’s cute but how come he flirts with other girls and not me?)

Or the plain inane side.

“A is cuter than B but B is cuter than C. However, D is cuter than B, making D cuter than A but not necessarily cuter than C.” (Girls’ brain are fluffy and the only Mathematical equations they compute are about cuteness in men.)

But one more squealing girl telling me how cute whoever is and I might go stuff her mouth with my smelly socks. The sad and painful part is that I’m more often than not hard-pressed to agree because I fail to find their definitions of “cute” to be accurate. OK, drop the cute, I fail to find their idea of attractive agreeable with mine. But then, you must understand that I am a guy myself and guys are not best in rating looks of people from the same sex. Agreeing is tough but I try my best.

X : Tell me, tell me, isn’t he the cutest thing you’ve seen?!

princeofdamnation : Erh…not bad.

X : Come on, tell me the truth!

Oh ho, looks like I’m a tad transparent. Maybe it’s the grimace or the vaguely appalled look on my face. Or the shock lacing my eyes, or the horror shaping my mouth in a perfect O. Or maybe I’m just Casper the Ghost.

Oh well.

I can’t imagine which guy would feel remotely flattered if a girl called him cute. If it was me she is calling cute, I would probably castrate myself so I could be a squeaky voiced schoolboy again and hence, qualify for my becoming title of “cute”. now you know

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